Joining the long-list
2006-03-15...12:13 a.m.

I went to my appointment with my new primary care physician. He listened to all my little complaints, and ordered lab-work and set me on a gynecologist for my little bladder problem.

He doesn't think my issues are related to hormones, although he's having that checked with the blood. He had me fill out a little questionaire that says I most likely have a mood disorder. He gave me a 6 week sample of Zyprexa.

I told him that I'm not going to go through a host of drugs. I'm going to try it for two weeks, and if the stress of taking it outweighs any benefit that I get from the pills (oh GOD), then that's it. I'm not taking any more of them, nor am I going to switch to anything else. It's just not a road I'm willing to take. He said that maybe my family will make the decision for me, as in, maybe it'll make me have that much better of a personality.

Just as a point of reference, Zyprexa is prescribed to schizophrenics and bipolars. Which makes me wonder, "Gee, was I right when I said I was losing my mind?"

Anyway, I'm hoping it will help with this constant state of anger I've been living in, and the absent-mindedness.

I have really mixed feelings. On one hand, yeah, it would be great to have a magic pill to make everything better. On the other hand, I haven't always been like this, at least I don't think so, and I worry that there might be an underlying cause that's being overlooked or ignored.

the last trail...the next path