Okay, so there's this thing. Somebody broke out my driver's door window and stole my wallet. If I could talk to that somebody:

Why did you do that? It was just plain mean and nasty. Did you just need money? Because you didn't get any, except the 40-some-odd cents that was in there. And when you found that out, couldn't you have done something to get my wallet back to me? I really like that wallet. And I had my handy little discount cards in there, too. Did you keep those? Are you using them? You didn't even try to use my bank card. While I appreciate it, it doesn't make much sense. You had to know that I left my car at the bar because I drank too much to drive, so I had to be "sleeping it off," giving you plenty of time to use it somewhere that doesn't ask for ID. My kids' social security cards were in there, and now I have to make sure their credit is safe and sound, because the gods only know what you did with my wallet and those very important numbers. Granted, I was pretty much asking for this sort of thing by leaving my wallet in plain sight.

Every time I feel like saying something about the fact that those were MY things, my car, my wallet, my kids' identities, I feel bad, like I'm being materialistic. But you know what? I have earned everything I have. Nothing has been handed to me on a silver platter, and I don't have anything anyone else couldn't get if they'd just get up off their lazy bums and get a FRICKIN' JOB.

By the way, all that broken glass? That sucked. Corey got it stuck in his fingers, and I found out it was in one of our travel pillows AFTER a piece fell out of the pillowcase and got STUCK IN MY REAR. How rude is that? And I accidentally broke one of my vent slats trying to pry a piece of glass out of it, so now I have to replace that. Who knows if there is any more glass that we've missed, and you can bet I'm really going to be mad if any gets stuck in my kids. That crap went everywhere in my car.

I'm saving the rock you left us. Thanks. It's really big and impressive. If I ever get to meet you, I'll return it to you. On your foot.

the last trail...the next path