Here's what's what and stuff:

Saturday morning I woke up, took my shower, and cleaned the dried milk that still creeps out of my left breast now and again off my nipple.

Squeeze and rub.

And OMFG, what the hell is that green stuff?!?

Something the color of Simple Green

came out of my nipple. I choked back the panic and called Corey into the bathroom so he could see (partially so I wasn't the only one seeing it, I think). Then I called a nurse hotline. They asked me some questions, including, "Are there any lumps?"

Okay, I'll be honest, it's been a couple of months, although I'm usually very good about doing my BSE. So I put my arm over my head, and lo and behold, what's this? A LUMP?!?

I called the doctor right away, but it's freaking impossible to get ahold of one unless your leg is dangling by a tendon and you're half bled to death. I finally got to see one on Monday. He pressed down on the breast on the side, and when the drop of Simple Green came out of the nipple, his reaction was, "THAT'S weird."

Yeah, thanks, I actually NEEDED someone to confirm the strangeness of the situation. Sheesh.

Anyway, he ordered a mammogram, which I had Wednesday, and an ultrasound, which I had done today. I guess I'll hear something around NEW YEAR'S, at the rate my doctor's office has been moving. Either that, or I've gone through all this testing for nothing, and the doctor will disappear and I'll have to find another one.

I watched the ultrasound. I'm not really sure what to think of them. I've compared what I could see with other images online, but it could be anything from a mammary duct to a cyst to cancer. So, I guess I'll have to wait and see. Which I'm not very good at. So chances are that I'll make them dig up my medical records.

I'm feeling pretty optimistic, but I'm still nervous.

Speaking of optimistic and nervous, Corey was offered a job at a new plant. He decided to take it! No Mo' Guardian! WOOHOO! I hope this was the step he needed to take to get himself happy. He's terrified though.

"What if it doesn't work out?"
He says that he'll be blacklisted from Guardian for leaving for greener pastures.
"What if I don't know what they think I know?"
"We're going to be losing things like the perfect attendance bonus and the production bonus."

I insist that he's making a small financial sacrifice for his mental health.

the last trail...the next path