OMG, I feel so much better right now than I have for nearly 3 weeks.

Every little, and not so little, thing has been getting to me lately. I think I've shed more tears over the last three weeks than I have in the last three YEARS. I really don't know what was wrong with me. I finally scheduled an appointment to talk with a doctor about it to find out if there was something physically wrong with me.

Have I mentioned that I HATE doctors? Yeah. Their age and sex don't matter. I'm pretty sure I hate all of the self-serving, arrogant sons of bitches.

Anyway. I was offered an anti-depressant. I don't know if I'm going to take it or not. It's sitting at home in a plastic bag, whimpering, "Pick me, pick me!"

I also hate pills. I hate even worse the idea of being dependent on pills. I'm also scared of the side effects, unlikely though it may or may not be that I'll have them.

Moving on, though. Yesterday, I was overcome by an almost euphoric feeling, like my heart was going to burst through my ribcage out of sheer happiness. Was it due to the depression suddenly dropping away, or is it just another symptom of some chemical imbalance? I have no idea, but it's made me even more reluctant to choke down some drug that I don't know much about. I mean, I feel better, and that's what counts, right? Right?!?

the last trail...the next path