*sigh*

I wish I could have a little romance. Something special and unexpected. I think I just need something to - I don't know - spice things up? I just kind of miss that excited tingle, the butterflies. I miss that. It makes me a little sad.

In spite of this sadness, I guess I'm supposed to choke it back, and be happy all the time. Heaven knows that if I'm sad or cranky or excessively happy when he gets home from work, I'll ruin any chance for anything remotely resembling romance or affection. It seems I've settled back into the old habit of getting angry or just taking what I can get. Piss on any hope of something new or different. Or even recapturing something long forgotten.

It's a good thing I love him as much as I do. Otherwise, it would be far too easy to take what I want, which seems to be so easy to find anywhere but at home.

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When he gets home, he'll probably want to stuff his gullet and play games. That's in about two hours. I hope I'm feeling a little less surly by then.

the last trail...the next path