I'm finally getting serious about my shoulder. There's a little mention of it in older diaries starting here: http://hamlette2002.diaryland.com/pation.html. I can't believe that was almost two years ago that I had my first appointment. And it still hurts like hell, especially when it's so damned humid. I guess I'm taking a FEW steps towards improving my health. After all I went through with my hysterectomy though, I dread any mention of surgery. But, the issues with my shoulder and the issues with my bladder, and being in the early stages of vaginal prolapse, well, they're interfering with my daily life and I'm sick of it. I haven't been going to the gym because I'm afraid that I'm going to move just wrong and wet myself. I'm starting to have a hard time carrying my tray with my right hand because it hurts - it also hurts when I try to load blood into the centrifuge. Sex is uncomfortable most of the time because no matter what position, I feel like I'm either going to wet myself or crap myself. It's horrible, and I can't relax at all, even though neither fear has come true.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to making all my stuff work right, in spite of the fears.

I joined a new message board, ClubMom. I have to "get with it," for my daughter's sake. I don't want her to be made fun of for her clothes, or her backpack, or anything else. I probably condemned myself to Mommy Hell the other day when I told her that she can't let her negative feelings show at school. I told her to find a place to tuck away her feelings until she could get home and write them in her diary. I know we've all been told that bottling up our feelings is unhealthy, but so is being tormented all through school because you're an easy target. So I told her that when people can see you're easily hurt, they'll keep on hurting you.
On the funny side, she asked, "Mom, if I just go around smiling all the time, won't people STILL think I'm weird?"
I hope I haven't royally screwed her up.

the last trail...the next path